What Happens When
by Calcifer
Summary: What happens when: you give The Yu-Gi-Oh characters Furbys? Tons of Sugar? Tickets to a Barney on Ice show? Find out here! Chapter 8 is UP! NEW STUFF!
1. Furbies of Doom!

Calcifer: Do I own Yu-Gi-Oh? Do I own Furbys? If you think the answers to these questions are 'yes' then I have a lovely, red bridge in San Francisco to sell you.OF COURSE THEY AREN'T MINE! ^__^  
  
Calcifer: Well, in this chapter we will see what happens when you give the Yu-Gi-Oh characters a Furby, and make them stay with it for eight hours!  
  
Characters: Uh oh.  
  
Calcifer: *grin* this will be FUN!  
  
Joey: I really don't feel good about this.  
  
Calcifer: Okay I think we will start with....SETO KAIBA!  
  
Kaiba: WHAT?! Why me?!  
  
Calcifer: No clue. Here's your purple sparkly Furby! It matches your coat!  
  
Kaiba: Oh I am soooo flattered, so what do I have to do with this thing?  
  
Calcifer: Stay in a room with it for eight hours.  
  
Kaiba: EIGHT?! WHY EIGHT?!  
  
Calcifer: My favorite number. Now get in there!  
  
Kaiba: Okay.  
  
Calcifer: This is it, ladies and gentlemen! Will Seto Kaiba survive eight hours with a Furby?  
  
Joey: What do we do until he comes out?  
  
Calcifer: Anyone know any good jokes?  
  
Yami Bakura: I DO!!!  
  
Calcifer: Okay, I am afraid to ask.but what is it?  
  
Yami Bakura: Okay, this tomb robber goes into this bar, or was it a pyramid? Wait, was it a tomb robber or the Pharaoh?  
  
Calcifer: This ought to last us..  
  
*7.99 hours later*  
  
Yami Bakura: Okay, so he says to Anubis- or was it Ra?  
  
Everyone Else: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ  
  
Kaiba: Okay! The eight hours are up! And I have a new invention to show you all!  
  
Calcifer: O goody! What is it?  
  
Kaiba: The new and improved addition to dueling technology! I call it the Furby duel disk! It is fuzzy! It talks! You wear it on your wrist! *Pulls out purple sparkly duel disk*  
  
Joey: Is it just me, or was he really bored in there?  
  
Kaiba: By tampering with the Furby's computer chip I have created the perfect dueling system! Observe: Place card in beak.Monster appears!  
  
Blue Eyes: *ROAR!*  
  
Duel Disk: AHH! LOUD SOUND!  
  
Kaiba: So it isn't totally perfect...  
  
Duel Disk: ME TIRED! ME HUNGRY! ME WANT HUG!  
  
All: AHHHHHH! *run away* *****************************************************************  
  
Calcifer: Now because he was so helpful during our eight hour wait, the next person to be stuck with a Furby is...YAMI BAKURA!  
  
Yami Bakura: .And then the Pharaoh says to the priest or was it the hedge.WAIT! WHAT?!  
  
Calcifer: You're next!  
  
Yami Bakura: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Calcifer: *Locks him in room with black and yellow Furby*  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
*4 hours later*  
  
Yami Bakura: NOOOO CAN'T STAND CUTENESS!! *SOB!*  
  
Calcifer: Doesn't it just break your heart to hear a tomb robber cry?  
  
Joey: Actually, it is pretty funny.  
  
Calcifer: Too true.  
  
****************************************************************  
  
*6 hours later*  
  
Yami Bakura: SHUT UP YOU EVIL LITTLE.  
  
Calcifer: I don't think it is going to well in there.  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
Yami Bakura: AHHHHHH NOOOOO SHUT UP! SHUT UP!  
  
*Smashing sound is heard*  
  
Furby: OWWWWW ME NEED HUG! ME IN PAIN!  
  
Yami Bakura: IT WON'T SHUT UP!!!!!!!!  
  
Furby: ME HUNGRY! FEEEEEEEEEEEEED MEEEEEEE! PUUUUUUUUUUUT MEEEEEEEEE BAAAAAACK TOOOOOOOOOGETHER!!!!!!!  
  
Yami Bakura: NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!!!!  
  
Calcifer: He is going to kill me when he gets out, isn't he? Protect me, Joey!  
  
Joey: *gulp* Okay.  
  
****************************************************************  
  
*Eight hours are up*  
  
Yami Bakura: CALCIFER!  
  
Calcifer: *Is hiding behind Joey* What happened to the Furby?  
  
Yami Bakura: *Hands her a handful of plastic and fur with a beak on top still yelling 'FEEEEEEEEEED ME!'*  
  
Calcifer: Oh. I see.  
  
Yami Bakura: Yes. I AM GOING TO SEAL YOUR SOUL IN YOUR WINGWEAVER CARD FOR THIS!  
  
Calcifer: Cool! I get to be my favorite card! She is pretty, and beats soooooo many monsters! Bwahahahaha!  
  
Yami Bakura: You aren't scared?  
  
Calcifer: Nope, she is such a powerful card and since you don't have a Blue Eyes White Dragon in your deck I don't have to worry about being sent to the graveyard.  
  
Yami Bakura: Okay, I'll seal you inside a....BEAVER WARRIOR!  
  
Calcifer: NOOOOOO! Not that! Anything but a Beaver *choke* Warrior! I challenge you to a DUEL!  
  
Yami Bakura: I'll get the cards!  
  
Calcifer: No, not with cards.. With Swords!  
  
Yami Bakura: Oh dang..  
  
Calcifer: [I am a fencer for all you audience members]  
  
Joey: Break it up! The audience doesn't want to see you maim Yami Bakura, they want to see people locked up with Furbys!  
  
Calcifer: Very true, Joey! Thanks for volunteering!  
  
Joey: WHAT?! I never.. Calcifer!  
  
Calcifer: I know I love you more than anyone else, but sorry, ALL of you have to go sometime! Besides, Joey you LIKE Furbys..  
  
Kaiba: What it THIS? Wheeler likes Furbys, eh?  
  
Joey: Yeah, when I was SIX!  
  
Kaiba: Dang.  
  
Calcifer: Okay Joey here is your black and flamed Furby!  
  
Joey: Cool fur!  
  
Calcifer: Yup.  
  
Joey: See yah in eight hours!  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
*Eight hours pass*  
  
Calcifer: Wow, no screams of anguish.  
  
Joey: *comes out of room* That was boring. Hope you don't mind, but I taught it some new vocabulary.  
  
Furby: FEEEEEEEEEED ME.GIANT DONUTS AND PIZZA! ME WANT SLEEP NOW! SO TIRED MUST REST! STAY COOL! THAT ISN'T COOL! MAINTAIN YOUR COOL! I'M COOL!  
  
Calcifer: Very nice.  
  
Joey: Now, what should I do.give it to Serenity, who thinks they are adorable, or give it to Kaiba, so it can torment him...  
  
Kaiba: I'd say...SERENITY!  
  
Joey: Fine. It is nearly her birthday anyhow.  
  
Next Chapter: What happens when you give Yami and Yugi Furbys! What about Teá? And of course we can't forget Marik! Also! Find out what we will give them NEXT! Please Review!!!!!! ^__^ 


	2. HoHo, Twinki, and DingDong!

Calcifer: Yes, yes they're not mine! Furbies are NOT mine! Yu-Gi-Oh! is not mine! Does that satisfy you???? I am going to go cry in the corner now! Goodbye!  
  
Aragorn: Hi! I am Aragorn from Lord from the Lord of the Rings! I am her helpful fan fiction assistant!  
  
Fernand: Along with me, Fernand Mondego! From the Count of Monte Cristo!  
  
Aragorn: She never writes fics about us.  
  
Joey: Yeah she is too busy with me! HAH!  
  
Fernand: Two words for you, Wheeler: Kenshin and Kurama!  
  
Joey: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Aragorn: Heh heh heh. How's it feel, Wheeler?  
  
Calcifer: Don't worry, Joey! I still like you better!  
  
Joey: Phew!  
  
Calcifer: WOW! Eight reviews! I am amazed! Thank you all! Here are personal messages to y'all!  
  
Aisha: Yes, I do feel rather sad for the little fuzzy ones.  
  
SweetCandy: I will do as many as I can without getting redundant  
  
PatrickMckinney: Hello Patrick! Wassup? Yes you ARE rambling! He is rather fetching on that motorcycle..but he posses Joey so he must SUFFER! Bwahaha!  
  
YamiTails: Yes! Yes! Pegasus shall be 'Furbyfied'!  
  
Serenity-Wheeler: 'Interesting?' Alrighty then! ;-)  
  
Malik'sgurl: This chapter should answer all your questions!  
  
Anna: Why thank you!  
  
Yami'sgirl: Don't you worry! I wont torture Yami any more than the others. I like him, even though he beats Joey! Joey is the true King of Games! *Becomes rabid and foams at mouth, everyone backs away* Don't be afraid! I'm only teasing you! Yami shall not come to TOO much harm. ;-)  
  
****************************************************************  
  
Calcifer: Okay, today we will continue locking people up with Furbys! Guess who's turn it is!  
  
Everyone: Ummmm.  
  
Calcifer: Yami's and Yugi's!  
  
Yugi: YAY! I love Furbys!  
  
Yami: Nooooo the pain!  
  
Calcifer: Sorry, Yami! I really hate doing this to you but..  
  
Yami: Yes, I understand.  
  
Calcifer: Good. You each get a Furby!  
  
Yami: Oh. Joy.  
  
Yugi: YAY!  
  
Calcifer: *Locks them up*  
  
Joey: This should be interesting.  
  
*Voices are heard from inside room*  
  
Yugi: This Furby would really add to the décor of my soul room!  
  
Yami: But you would have to get it inside your head first.  
  
Yugi: That DOES pose a problem.  
  
Yami: Thank Goodness.I would hate to be next soul room over from that thing.  
  
Yugi: Hey! I know! YOU could put mine in my soul room for me!  
  
Yami: WHAT?! NO!  
  
Yugi: Please? *Sniffle.*  
  
Yami: NO! NO! NO!  
  
Calcifer: Yugi will get his way in the end wont he?  
  
Bakura: Yeah, at least HIS Yami isn't psycho.*stares pointedly at Yami Bakura*  
  
Joey: He can read minds? Wow!  
  
Yami Bakura: He said psycho not PSYCHIC! Can't you get that right?!  
  
Joey: Whatevah.  
  
Yami Bakura: Waitaminute! Who were you calling 'psycho', Bakura?  
  
Bakura: No one.  
  
Joey: You, you ole mind reader you!  
  
Yami Bakura: I AM NOT PSYCHIC, WHEELER! GIVE IT UP! Neither am I psycho.  
  
Joey: Oh suuuuuuuuuuuure. That is why you are out to kill Yami and take over the world.  
  
Yami Bakura: Umm. good point. BUT STILL! I am NOT psychic!  
  
Joey: Oh. I see. Gotcha.  
  
Calcifer: How many hours has it been?  
  
Joey: Six.  
  
Calcifer: Hmmm.  
  
*Eight hours are up*  
  
Yami: I hate fuzziness! Death! Death to Furbies! Make them a sacrifice to Ra!  
  
Calcifer: You put it in his soul room, didn't you?  
  
Yami: Yes. I thought nothing would be more annoying than a fifteen year old pleading with me, but I was so wrong. The thing wont shut up! Every minute: 'Feed me!' 'Loud sound!' 'I love you!' AHHHHHH!  
  
Yugi: Sorry, Yami.  
  
Yami: ARGH!  
  
Calcifer: Well then! Now for our next person: Marik!  
  
Marik: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!!!!!  
  
Calcifer: Yami has control over your motorcycle, we know a good scrap metal shop, and you WILL do what I say.  
  
Marik: I'll do anything! Just don't hurt my motorcycle!  
  
Calcifer: Okay then! You will be sharing a sentence with the other tormentor of Joey. You two can suffer together! A regular 'guys-who-I-am- out-to-kill-for-embarrassing-and-possessing-the-one-I-love' convention!  
  
Marik: NO! Not HIM!  
  
Duke Devlin: Wasssssssup?  
  
Calcifer: Okay Duke *choke* Devlin (who I despise and wouldn't look at if it wasn't for the fact that I get to torment him and see his pain).  
  
Duke Devlin: Heeeeeey! So why am I here?  
  
Calcifer: We have a very SPECIAL surprise for you, Dukey!  
  
Duke Devlin: Oh really?  
  
Calcifer: *Shoves a pink and baby blue Furby into his hands and hands a hot pink and sparkly one to Marik, and shoves them in room* See yah! =P  
  
Marik/Duke Devlin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Calcifer: Bwahaha I just looooove being evil!  
  
Joey: And you do it so well.  
  
Calcifer: Thank you! Thank you!  
  
Yami: I don't have possession of his motorcycle though.  
  
Calcifer: Just a LITTLE white lie to amuse the audience.  
  
Yugi: That wasn't very nice. but since it was Marik.  
  
Calcifer: And Duke Devlin!  
  
Yugi: But he is nice!  
  
Calcifer: WHO?! MARIK?!  
  
Yugi: No! Duke Devlin!  
  
Calcifer: *Unladylike snort* Oh suuuure. Throwing dice at people's heads, dressing people in puppy suits, and humiliating them on national TV is nice. Okay, Yugi.  
  
Yugi: He was nice AFTER all that.  
  
Calcifer: Need I remind you that he hero worships Pegasus?  
  
Pegasus: Talking about me?  
  
Calcifer: Oh the ideas!  
  
Pegasus: What ideas.  
  
Calcifer: *Gives him maroon Furby and locks him in room as well* Oh look a villains-with-Furbies party!  
  
All three: LET US OUT! EVIL FURBIES! NOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Calcifer: Revenge is sweet.  
  
Joey: Mhm!  
  
Calcifer: Now we just have to wait for seven more hours and see what happens. Anyone know any good jokes?  
  
Yami Bakura: I DO! I DO!  
  
Everyone: NO!  
  
*Three hours later*  
  
Bakura: It is awfully quiet in there.  
  
Calcifer: Too quiet.  
  
Joey: What are they up to?  
  
Calcifer: Let's take a peek! *Creates small window in door with hacksaw*  
  
Everyone: GASP!  
  
Calcifer: Oh my goodness.  
  
Marik: Say 'take over the world', Ding-Dong!  
  
Duke Devlin: Say 'humiliate Joey and flirt with his sister', Ho-Ho!  
  
Pegasus: Say 'steal everyone's souls to resurrect Cecilia', Twin-ki!  
  
All three: Aren't you the cutest Furby in the world? Yes you are!  
  
Yami Bakura: Oh how the mighty have fallen.  
  
Calcifer: I am torn between being sick and laughing my head off.  
  
Marik: My Furby can say 'world domination!' I bet yours can't say that Devlin!  
  
Duke Devlin: Ho-Ho can say anything that Ding-Dong can say!  
  
Ho-Ho: DICE! DICE! DICE! DICE! DICE! DICE!  
  
Twin-ki: FRUIT JUICE! CHEESE! FUNNY BUNNY! FRUIT JUICE! CHEESE! FUNNY BUNNY!  
  
Ding-Dong: WORLD DOMINATION! WORLD DOMINATION! WORLD DOMINATION! WORLD DOMINATION! WORLD DOMINATION! WORLD DOMINATION! WORLD DOMINATION!  
  
Calcifer: Oh Lord. *snicker* It would be annoying if it wasn't so funny! *Laughs*  
  
*After seven of the eight hours are up*  
  
Marik: C'mon Ding-Dong! Say 'kill Yami!'  
  
Pegasus: C'mon Twin-ki! Say 'kill Yami!'  
  
Duke Devlin: C'mon Ho-Ho! Say 'Dungeon Dice monsters is the best game in the world!'  
  
Marik: Way to go Devlin! You just ruined the 'kill Yami' mood!  
  
Duke Devlin: Oops! Sorry!  
  
Pegasus: We forgive you. *Sigh*  
  
Calcifer: Okay guys! The eight hours are up! You are free! Marik you can have your motorcycle back now!  
  
Marik: Who cares about a motorcycle?! Ding-Dong needs me!  
  
Calcifer: Right then. Hang on I want to test something. HEY, PEGASUS! I got your Millennium Eye back for you!  
  
Pegasus: Who cares? Twin-ki needs me!  
  
Calcifer: *Snicker* HEY, DUKE DEVLIN! I stole your game and sold it on E- Bay for a billion dollars!  
  
Duke Devlin: AHHHHH! NOOOOOO! I mean, who cares? Ho-Ho needs me!  
  
Calcifer: See yah next time! When we give everyone insane amounts of sugar! 


	3. UhOh MARIK!

I DON'T OWN YUGIOH! OKAY?

Review Thanks:

PatrickMcKinney: I was just CURIOUS about what you were writing! Hmph some people….

WarriorKnuckles: I am glad you like it!

Buka2000: Ooh it would have been funny if he had sent it to the Shadow Realm…!

Stef P & Sara K: Yes yes! I am glad y'all enjoyed it!

Kaibagirl: Well my friend Patrick may disagree with you about the fact of who Seto Kaiba belongs to…but I am glad you liked the fic!

Kyreason: I am glad you like it!

Aisha: Yes I AM rather evil aren't I? *Snicker* Yami Bakura WILL get sugar! Never fear!

Destiny: I hope there is enough Teá bashing for you in this chapter! ^__^

To All of you: If you have suggestions on who else I can torture feel free to tell me in a review! ^__^

*****************************************************************

Now it is time for What Happens When: Chapter Three! We shall be giving the Yu-Gi-Oh characters tons and tons and tons and tons and tons…

Kaiba: I think we get the point…

Joey: I'll finish for you if you want, Calcifer…

Calcifer: Thanks, Joey-kins! That would be great!

Joey: Okay. …and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons….

Calcifer: …of SUGAR!

All: Uh. Oh. 

Calcifer: I will be giving you each one of these. *Hands Yami Bakura a huge tub of candy bars and ice cream and cake*

Yami Bakura: Yum…………… :-9

Calcifer: Okay, we are just going to have all of you do this at once! Joey, Duke, Marik, Pegasus, Yugi, Yami, Regular Bakura, Teá, Kaiba, Mokuba, and Tristan: there is a tub of sugar for each of you! Eat up!

All: :-9

Calcifer: This should be entertaining…..

*An hour later*

Duke/Marik/Pegasus: I LIKE SUGAR! I LIKE FURBIES! I LIKE SUGAR AND FURBIES!

Calcifer: Okay then.

Yami Bakura: *Singing* Take over the world, the world, the world! Take over the world!

Joey: There weren't any gigantic donuts! I REFUSE to be hyper with out my donuts!

Calcifer: *Hands him box of fifty donuts* Enjoy!

Joey: WHEEEEEEEE!

Tristan: I am a unicorn! Or a rhino! Or a…a…a…

Regular Bakura (Hereafter called 'Bakura'): Or an idiot!

Tristan: THAT TOO! 

Yami/Yugi: We are porcupines! 

Calcifer: Right then…..*snicker*

Kaiba: *Laughing hysterically*

Joey: *Laughing hysterically too* Kaibaaaaaaaa! My maaaaan!

Kaiba: WHEEEEEELEEERR! How's is goin' bro?

Joey: Sweeet, man, sweeeeeeeeeet!

Both: *Put arms around each other, STILL laughing hysterically* 

Calcifer: They MUST be hyper, Kaiba and Joey acting like friends? *Shudder*

Yami Bakura/Marik: *Singing* Kill Yami! Kill Yami! Kiiiiilllllllllllll YAMIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Pegasus: *Singing* Face up………*Giggles* Face Down…..*Laughing madly* Attack or………..*Can't continue, so he begins bouncing up and down* 

Mokuba: THE LAST CANDY BAR IS MINE!

Duke: PAWS OFF! I SAW IT FIRST!

Mokuba: LIAR!

Duke: CHEATER!

Kaiba: Hey! Leave my brother alone! 

Calcifer: This should be interesting, two extremely hyper people, fighting….

Duke: *Tries to hit Kaiba but misses*

Kaiba: *Tries to hit Duke but misses*

Teá: THERE IS NO WAY I WILL EAT THIS STUFF! SUGAR IS BAD! FRIENDSHIP IS GOOD! *Begins running around telling people to stop eating sugar and be friends. She trips over Joey's conveniently extended foot, onto his conveniently hand, which was conveniently holding a donut.*

Joey: *Pulls hand away quickly so her mouth wont touch it.* AH! She nearly TOUCHED me! GIRL COOTIES! NOOOOOOOOOOO! *Wipes hand on Tristan's jacket*

Tristan: NOW THEY ARE ON ME! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Both: AHHHHH! *Run off*

Teá: *Talking to herself with donut still in her mouth* Hmm, if I swallow this donut I will break my vow to never have sugar, but it tastes so GOOD! *Swallow* SUGAR! NEED MORE SUGAR!

Marik: NO! The sugar is MINE! Get away, witchy-friendship-lady!

Teá: GIVE ME YOUR SUGAR! 

Marik: *Brandishes Millennium Rod* I banish you to the shadow realm! *Misses, hits Pegasus*

Pegasus: *Right before he disappears* HEY!

Joey and Tristan: *Come back with high power laser and microscope, Tristan's jacket is in a glass box with a quarantine sign on it.* 

Joey: Okay, I'll find the cooties and you can operate the laser to get them off! *Begins focusing microscope*

Yugi: Joey! You said a 'C' was the best you could do in biology! And that you were trying as hard as you could! And that the use of microscopes was impossible! 

Joey: Well, this is DIFFERENT! This is saving the world!

Yami: From imaginary Teá cooties?

Tristan: THEY AREN'T IMAGINARY!

Yugi: Sure.

Joey: Watch it, porcupine boy!

Kaiba: *Carrying an unconscious Duke Devlin* I finally punched the idiot! Wassup, fellas?

Joey: AHHHH! Kaiba! You have Duke cooties on you!

Kaiba: AHHHH! SAVE MY COAT!

Teá: GIVE ME SUGAR!

Marik: NO! I BANISH YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM! *Misses, hits Bakura and Yami Bakura*

Both: WATCH IT! *Disappear*

Kaiba: Yo, dog! Do me a favor! Save my coat!

Joey: Not now! I am saving the world from the evil Teá cooties!

Yami: Saving the world happens to be OUR job!

Yugi: YEAH!

Kaiba: Dog…..

Joey: Okay, Kaiba. We'll save your coat. But for a price!

Kaiba: NAME IT!

Joey: You give me the last candy bar that you stole from Duke.

Kaiba: WHAT?! NEVER!

Joey: Okay then. Your coat is doomed.

Kaiba: But! But! But!

Joey: Sorry. No can do, not without extra sugar, that is.

Kaiba: Fine. *Gives him candy bar*

Joey: LOSER! *Runs away with candy*

Kaiba: HEY! You said you would fix my coat!

Joey: =P

Kaiba: GRRRRRRRRRRR DIE CHIHUAHUA!

Joey: CAN'T CATCH ME! =P

Teá: I AM WARNING YOU MARIK ISHTAR! FORK OVER THE SUGAR!

Marik: NEVER! I BANISH YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM! *Misses, hits the unconscious Duke Devlin and Yugi and Yami*

Yugi: HEY! 

Yami: YOU NO GOOD….

Teá: YUGIIIIIIII! 

Marik: *Begins chasing Teá, trying to send her to the shadow realm, hits Tristan and then Mokuba and Seto*

Joey: Uh oh. Ummm, Marik? Put the rod down! Good boy, just put it down and no one gets hurt….

Teá: FORK OVER THE SUGAR! *Hides behind Joey*

Joey: Oh shoot….

Marik: I! BANISH! YOU! TO! THE! SHADOW! REALM!

Joey and Teá: *Disappear*

Calcifer: MARIK! YOU SHALL DIE FOR THAT!

Marik: I never knew you cared so much about Teá. *Laughs hysterically*

Calcifer: TEÁ?! You think I CARE about TEÁ!? Okay, that is IT! You're going DOWN!

Marik: I BANISH YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM! *Actually gets it right*

Calcifer: Oh dang….

Marik: Hah! *Is holding rod backward* I just love to banish things to the Shadow Realm! *Points it at potted plant, fires it at himself, not realizing that it was backward, and vanishes.*

*In the Shadow Realm*

Joey: Oh great! We are stuck in the Shadow Realm, without our sugar!

Marik: How did I get here?

Yami: You held the rod backward, numskull! 

Marik: Oh.

Tristan: How on earth are we going to get out of here?!

Calcifer: DUM DUM DUM! Tune in next time!


	4. Prepare for the Shadow Age!

Calcifer: Okay, I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, because if I did I wouldn't be putting my stories on fanfiction.net I would be making them into real episodes, and if I owned it, you think that Duke Devlin would still be alive? No. I also do not own Ice Age.

*****************************************************************

Calcifer: Okay, thanks to Marik's hand trembling so much, because he was so hyper, we are stuck in the Shadow Realm with absolutely no food. We will now divide into two groups and try to figure something out. The groups are: Joey, Yugi, Kaiba, Tristan, Bakura, and me are one group, and Duke Devlin, Pegasus, Marik, Yami Bakura, Mokuba, Yami, and Teá are the other group.

Pegasus: NO! I refuse to be in a group with Teá!

Duke Devlin: Me too!

Marik: Yeah, absolutely not!

Yami Bakura: We'll go insane!

Yami: Yeah!

Teá: *GLARE*

Yami: I mean… that isn't nice you guys.

Calcifer: Too bad. She isn't going in my group; you guys have just got to deal with it!

Yami Bakura: Fine.

Calcifer: Okay, my group is going over here!

Yami: My group will go over here!

Yami Bakura: HEY! WHO SAID YOU WERE THE LEADER!

Yami: Calcifer.

Duke: NO SHE DIDN'T!

Group Two: *All begin fighting*

Joey: Hey, guys! C'mere!

Kaiba: What?

Joey: Shhh! Look what I have! That candy bar Tristan and I stole from Kaiba!

Kaiba: HEY!

Yugi: With this candy we'll be able to survive!

Tristan: YES! We must prepare for the Shadow Age!

*Two hours later*

Marik: Well, we could make search parties to find food. But why work hard, and be honest when it is so much easier to just steal from the other group?

Duke: Good point. But first we have to do something about Mokuba.

Mokuba: SING A SONG OF SUGAR, A POCKET FULL OF RYE, FOUR AND TWENTY CANDIES WERE BAKED INTO A PIE!

Teá: That is just scary.

Yami: Hey, you guys! What are they doing? *Points to Group one, who is parading around a rock with something on it and singing a song*

Yugi:  I DON'T KNOW BUT I'VE BEEN TOLD!

Group One: I DON'T KNOW BUT I'VE BEEN TOLD!

Yugi: SHADOW REALM IS MIGHTY COLD!

Group One: SHADOW REALM IS MIGHTY COLD!

Marik: THEY HAVE FOOD!

Pegasus: And "fruit juice"?

Yami: I doubt it.

Mokuba: Let's go look!

Marik: Hey guys! 

Tristan: *Gasp* INTRUDERS!

Group One: *GASP!*

Yami Bakura: Can we have some of your candy bar?

Joey: NEVER! We'll use our supplies to stay in the Shadow Realm for a million, million years!

Marik: You have one candy bar.

Joey: Umm… Well if you don't want to prepare for the Shadow Age… Then DOOM ON YOU!

Group One: Doom on you! Doom on you! Doom on you! Doom on you! Doom on you! Doom on you! Doom on you!

Teá: We just want some of your candy! *Reaches for it*

Joey: PROTECT THE CANDY!

Kaiba: ATTACK!

Yami Bakura: *Breaks off half of the candy bar* HAH!

Tristan: CHARGE!

Kaiba/Tristan/Bakura/Yugi: *Tackle Yami Bakura, piece of candy bar goes flying out into the shadows, never to be seen again.*

Joey: Look at this crater full of lava, you guys! If you fall in this you'll-

Calcifer: *Shoves Duke Devlin in*

Joey: -Burn and die…

Duke Devlin: AHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Calcifer: Bwahahahahahah! Got him!

Yami: *Breaks off half of remaining half of the candy bar*

Kaiba: ATTACK!

Yami: Oh… *Gets tackled by Joey, Kaiba, and Calcifer*…Dang.

Calcifer: Where's the candy he stole?

Kaiba: I don't know. I think it got lost in the scrimmage.

Everyone: *Looks at rock with the last quarter of the candy bar on it, they all lick their lips in anticipation* THE LAST QUARTER! *They all lunge for it at once, and begin killing each other for it.

Mokuba: * Watches everyone in a pile, punching each other, next to the last piece of candy. Goes up to it, and eats it while sitting on the rock, and watching the fight. Calcifer is trying to stuff a rock down Marik's throat. Joey, Tristan, and Bakura were trying to take on Yami Bakura, before he sent them to…uhhhhh-well the normal world. Yugi was attacking Pegasus's shin. Kaiba and Yami were dueling: Dark Magician vs. Blue Eyes.* Oh look- Dinner AND a show!

Teá: STOP! STOP! YOU SHOULD ALL BE FRIENDS! *Runs into the lava crater*

Yami: There goes our last female.

Joey: Our group still has a girl! LOSERS!

Yami: OH SHUT UP!

*Continue to fight, after group two has been vanquished…*

Calcifer: WE ARE THE VICTORS!

Kaiba/Joey: YEAH!

Yugi/Bakura: HOORAY!

Yami Bakura: Where is the chocolate?!

Mokuba: *Has chocolate all over mouth*

All: MOKUBA!

Mokuba: EEP! *Runs*

Pegasus: To heck with this! I need my "fruit juice"! *Steals Millennium Eye from Yami Bakura, and uses it to take everyone back to the normal world.*

Calcifer: PEGASUS! YOU COULD HAVE DONE THAT THE WHOLE TIME WE WERE THERE?!

Yami Bakura: I WANT MY EYE BACK!

Pegasus: Fine. Here. 

Yami Bakura: That was stupid, you could have left me in the Shadow Realm, and kept the eye. Too late now though!

Pegasus: DANG! WHY DID I DO THAT!

Duke Devlin/ Teá: HI, GUYS!

Calcifer: NO! I killed you! Why are you here!

Duke Devlin: That lava was a direct portal to the human realm! It was like a roller coaster!

Teá: We were waiting for you guys! ^__^

All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*****************************************************************

Calcifer: Okay, that was complete Ice Age/ Yu-Gi-Oh insanity!

If you have any suggestions on what else I can do to these people, please tell me in a review! Next is the Barney on Ice show, IF I get inspired. *Sigh*

PLEASE REVIEW!


	5. It's the end of the world!

Calcifer: Okay, first of all, I am upping the rating to PG, since me killing people isn't that G. Second, there is some Teá bashing in this chapter, and I know that it is only the dubbed Teá that is totally obnoxious, so you don't need to tell me. And if you really, really like Duke Devlin…well…heh…this isn't the BEST fic for you… Lastly, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Barney *gag* thank the Gods… since if I did….well he'd be dead.

****************************************************************

Calcifer: Okay, after out little "Shadow Realm Adventure" courtesy of Marik, I just want to take a nap. But first I need to give you all your tickets!

All: Tickets……WHAT tickets?

Calcifer: You know- to the "Barney on Ice" Show!

All: WHAT THE H***?!

Duke Devlin: NO! You can't DO this to me! I am THE GREAT DUKE DEVLIN! I need to look great 24/7 so the girls will adore me!

Calcifer: =P Not any girls I know….

Duke's Gals: Duke! Duke! He's so cute!

Joey: NO! Not them again!

Calcifer: 'Duke' and 'Cute' don't rhyme, girls.

Duke's Gals: Ummm…well…

Calcifer: 'Duke' and FLUKE rhyme! :-} hehehe

Joey: Or how about PUKE?

Calcifer: Good one! *Snicker* Or SPOOK!

Joey: Or KOOK!

Calcifer: Or NUKE!

Yugi: This isn't nice you guys!

Both: SHADDUP!

Joey: Or REBUKE!

Calcifer: Or LIVER FLUKE!

Joey: Or DUBUQUE!

Mai: What's a 'Dubuque'?

Joey: Uh, a town in Iowa.

Mai: You're really pushing it, kid.

Joey: Yeah…

Duke: HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME LIKE THIS?!

Joey: So it is okay to make someone wear a puppy suit on national TV, but it isn't okay to find rude rhymes with your name?

Duke: Um, yeah…

Joey: Nimrod.

Duke's Gals: *Begin beating up poor Joey, yet again*

Joey: OWWW!

Calcifer: LOOK! IT IS A DUKE DEVLIN FAN-GAL CONVENTION FEATURING AN IMITATION DUKE DEVLIN!

Duke's Gals: OOOOOOO! *Run off to -cough cough- "Duke Devlin Convention"*

Calcifer: How stupid can you get? Okay, gang! Let's go to see Barney! I am so glad I don't have to stay! I can just drop you all off!

Duke Devlin/Marik/Kaiba: Oh no! If we go, you go, Missy!

Calcifer: No! No! No! That isn't how it is supposed to work at all! *Is grabbed, and stuffed into van*

Teá: I just LOVE Barney! He likes friendship!

Calcifer: Peachy. Just PEACHY. Good-o, Teá!

Teá: I love you…you love MEEEEEE! 

Marik: Keep singing, and I'll blast you to the Shadow Realm, before you can say 'Baby Bop'!

Teá: We all remember what happened last time you made that threat, don't we? *Continues her discordant singing*

Calcifer: Nooooo! The pain!

Tristan: Take it like a man, Calcifer!

Calcifer: BUT I'M NOT A MAN! AND WHY WOULD A MAN TAKE IT BETTER THAN A WOMAN?! HUH?! HUH?!

Tristan: Sheesh! You 'women's lib' people…

Calcifer: And PROUD of it! GEMME OUTTA HERE! 

Rex Raptor: You say this purple guy is a dinosaur? This might not be so bad!

Marik: Have you ever WATCHED Barney, Rex?

Rex: Nope…

Marik: *Snicker* Hehehe…

Pegasus: NOOOOO! I don't want to see Barney! Where is Funny Bunny!?

Duke Devlin: This is ruining my image.

Kaiba/Mai: I'M GONNA SUE!

Bakura: Well, this doesn't look like it will be much fun, does it?

Yugi: How is your Yami taking this, Bakura?

Bakura: Well… he likes to sleep late, so he doesn't really know yet…

Yami: Oh joy. So when we get there we will have a rudely awoken, and infuriated, and evil, tomb robber on our hands?

Bakura: Oh dear…

Mokuba: This could be fun!

Teá: I'm with you, Mokuba!

Both: I looooooooove youuuuuuuuuuuu….

Tristan: NOOOOOO! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

Marik: I-I-I I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

Mai: *Knuckles turning white* I-I-I see harpies! Look at the pretty, pretty harpies! HI, HARPIES!

Joey: Mai's losin' it!

Kaiba: Did Mai ever HAVE it?! I mean, please! The girl LIKES Joey…

Joey: KAIBA!  Waitaminute! She likes me?!

Kaiba: *Snicker*

Mokuba: WE'RE HERE!

All except for Teá, and Mokuba: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Are forced out of van by Teá, and Mokuba*

Guy Dressed Like Barney: Hi, guys! Do you want to learn about Traffic Safety?

Marik: I BANISH YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM!

Tristan: Wow. You actually got it right this time.

Teá: YOU SENT BARNEY TO THE SHADOW REALM!?

Marik: Oh yeah! Who's good?! Oh…wait…I'm…evil…aren't…I?

Teá: YAMI! BRING BARNEY BACK!

Yami: Um…

Teá: *Menacing glare* 

Yami: But Teá!

Teá: WHAT?!

Yami: I can't do that. You'll have to talk to Pegasus or Yami Bakura…

Bakura: DON'T WAKE UP MY YAMI! o__O;;

Teá: Pegasus?

Pegasus: Why should I care about the overgrown, fuzzy, demented lizard?

Teá: *Menacing glare [A/N I bet you never knew that Teá had a menacing glare, didja?!]* Because I said so.

Pegasus: Okay. *Brings Guy Dressed Like Barney back from the Shadow Realm*

Teá: Thank you!

Tristan: Well, let's get this over with.

Mai: Pretty harpies…

Joey: Yeah, Mai…whatevah…

*Go get their seats in the front row*

Bakura: *Is hit on the head by a little boy dressed as that stupid yellow dinosaur with the tennis shoes [no idea what his name is, if you know please tell me!]* HEY!

Yami Bakura: Huh? Where are we?!

Bakura: Oh dear….

Yami Bakura: WHERE IN RA'S NAME ARE WE?!

Kaiba: Hey, Yugi! Want to switch seats?

Yugi: *Looks at Yami Bakura who is shredding a program, and shakes his head vehemently*

Teá: Look! The lights are dimming!

Marik: NO! This is wrong! I don't do Barney!

Mokuba: Look! It's Barney! 

Barney: *Comes out on ice skates* HI KIDS!

Little Brats: HI BARNEY! 

Rex: THAT'S NOT A DINOSAUR! 

Little Brat Number One: Oh yes it is!

Rex: IT IS FURRY! DINOSAURS HAD SCALES! IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE A T-REX? ITS ARMS ARE SMALL ENOUGH, BUT IT IS SO TINY! WHERE ARE THE TEETH?! IT CAN'T BE A PLANT EATER! WHY ISN'T IT EATING THE KIDS?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!

Little Brat Number One: Shut up! You're a non-believer! You can't join the Barney Club, with an attitude like that!

Rex: AHHHHHH!

Little Brat Number Two: *Spills juice box on Kaiba*

Kaiba: It's the end of the world! T___T

Little Brat Number Three: *Drops candy bar on Joey*

Joey: Thanks! *Eats candy bar*

Little Brat Number One/Two/Three: WAAAAAHHHHH! HE ATE OUR CANDY!

All: IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! NOOOOOOO!


	6. It's the end of the world, again!

Calcifer: Okay, I realize I forgot to thank all my reviewers last chapter! How could I be so evil!? Anyway, I'll thank you now! ^__^ Here's to the people who just make my day over and over again!

Yami Westley: I'm glad you like my fic so much! Yours are great too! You are so wrong about mine being better, though I appreciate the compliment! ^___^ Sending them to the Spirit World (I assume you mean the one from "Spirited Away"?) is a great idea! I'll try my best to do it soon! Thanks for your reviews! 

ACME-Rian: I am a bit confused about what you are asking for, sorry! ^__^ I understand the bit about them meeting the cast from WOEICS, but when you say 'put me in there' do you mean YOU the person, or your ideas? Also, when you say to have Joey meet his twin, do you mean from WOEICS, or just as another idea? I think it is great idea of yours to have them be in/meet the Carmen San Diego peeps, but I had better refresh my memory of the show, since I haven't seen it for a long time. Thanks for your reviews! 

Thlayli Rowan-rai: Wow. You're…cruel… I am thinking about locking people up with Teá. It seems enough to make them go insane…^____^ Thanks for reviewing!

SweetCandie: LOL! You're funny! Yes, Duke Devlin is kinda good-looking, especially in the ones when they are in the finals of Battle City…but I can't forgive him ;-) I'm so glad you like my fic! Thanks!

Kaiba-fan: I'm terribly sorry about your story! It was great, and I was really looking forward to finding out who the heck that kid was! ;-) Thanks for reviewing; I'm so happy that you like it!

Calcifer: Okay, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Barney. *Trying to think of some original and sarcastic thing to say…* Oh never mind…

***************************************************************

Kaiba: *Is trying to get the stickiness of the juice box out of his hair*

Little Brats: *Crying their heads off, begin attacking Joey for eating their candy*

Teá: Kids! That isn't friendly!

Barney: What's this!? There is a fight!

Teá: Stop, kids! It is mean to beat people up!

Barney: The girl with the big shoes is right! It is mean to beat people up! 

Little Brats: We're sorry, Barney!

Barney: Good! Oh look! Here come my friends!

Kid actors on ice skates: Hi, Barney.

Barney: Why the long faces, Marca?

Marca: Well, the other day, Timmy was crossing the street and…

James: And he got hit by a truck…

Barney: Oh dear.

Loraine: We are about to go to his funeral, but we don't have enough money to buy flowers!

Barney: I'll help you get some flowers! But first, let's sing a song about Traffic Safety!

Joey: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Barney: Well, when you cross the street, don't look at your feet!

Kids: No! No! Don't look at your feet….

Barney: Look each way, every day!

Kids: Each way! Each way! Every day!

Barney: You never know, when a car or truck will go…

Kids: Oh you'll never, ever know…

Barney: You don't want to be road-kill or have to make out your will!

Kids: No! No! Don't make out that will…

Barney: Little Timmy taught us a lot!

Kids: Taught! Taught! Taught a lot! 

Barney: Look both ways or you'll be a red blot!

Kids: Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed! Blooooooooooooooooooot!

Duke Devlin: What the H***?! That isn't normal for Barney!

Pegasus: How would you know?!

Duke Devlin: Well I…never mind! I-I-I'm not the one who watches a pink rabbit every Saturday!

Mai: Who made it so morbid?!

Tristan: Yeah! That script was so twisted! 

Yami: And that song was DISGUSTING! Who wrote this junk?!

Yami Bakura: *Quickly hides notepad and pen*

Marik: *Quickly hides Millennium Rod*

Kaiba: So Yami Bakura wrote the song, and the script, and Marik made them act it out and sing it!?

Joey: I wondered why you two were whispering together…

Marik: Look! We were BORED!

Yami Bakura: Yeah, and it taught a good message!

Tristan: 'Look both ways or you'll be a red blot'? That's a good message?!

Teá: You have distorted Barney! You shall both die for this!

Marik: But if you kill me, I'll never make Barney ask you up on stage!

Teá: You can get me up there?

Marik: Of course I can… *Mind controls Barney*

Barney: Okay, one lucky person will get to sing on stage with me, before we go get flowers for little Timmy!

Teá: PICK ME! PICK ME!

Barney: I pick…the girl with the big shoes!

Teá: THAT'S ME! 

Barney: What's your name, sweetie?

Tea': TEÁ!

Barney: Well, Teá, do you want to bring a special friend up here with you?

Calcifer: Oh of course she does! *Shoves Duke Devlin up next to her*

Duke Devlin: AH! What are you doing to me!?

Calcifer: ^______^ Have fun!

Duke Devlin: This is too demeaning. 

Teá: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! This is so much fun! I am going to just DIE!

Pegasus: Really?!

Yami Bakura: You promise?!

Marik: YES!

Teá: __

Duke Devlin: This is so wrong!

Duke's Cheerleaders: Hey! There wasn't a Duke Devlin Lovers convention!

Calcifer: Really? Oh, golly gee whiz! I had no idea!

Duke's Cheerleaders: DUKEY! 

Duke Devlin: *Blush* Hi, girls…

Tristan: *Snicker* Man… I wish Serenity could see this… *Begins videotaping it* 

Duke Devlin: TRISTAN!

Barney: Okay! Let's sign the 'I-Love-you' song!

Teá: YAY! ^______^

Duke Devlin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Teá: You'll do it… or I'll tell Serenity about all your fan girls…

Duke Devlin: You wouldn't!

Teá: Oh but I would!

Duke Devlin: Fine. I love you…. you love me…

Barney: Hyuck hyuck [I swear that's how he laughs!] That's the spirit!

Marik: -___- This is stupid.

Tristan: *Still taping* No, this is priceless.

Yami: This is hilarious.

Yugi: I'm so glad that Teá has followed her heart and completed her dream.

Mai: It was her dream to sing with a purple dinosaur?

Yugi: Well…

Pegasus: Wait! What's happening to them?

Kids+ Barney+ Teá: I hate you! 

Yugi: That's not how it goes…

Kids+ Barney+ Teá: You hate me! 

Yami: Yeah… it seems different than I remember…

Kids+ Barney+ Teá: We all hate Barney! 

Tristan: Yeah…there's something strange about it…

Kids+ Barney+ Teá: Take a great big mallet! 

Mai: I can't put my finger on it…

Kids+ Barney+ Teá: Hit him on the head! 

Kaiba: Hmmm…

Kids+ Barney+ Teá: Don't you hope that Barney's dead?!

Bakura: Great Scott! Instead of the kind, cheesy lyrics, cruel and rather psychotic ones have been implemented!

Yami Bakura: No duh…

Kaiba: -___- Marik?

Marik: WHAT!? Okay, okay… I made them sing it…but Calcifer wrote it!

Calcifer: YUPPERS! 

Kaiba: I hate that word.

Calicfer: I know!

Joey: It is….*cough cough* special.

Calicfer: Oh thanks…

Joey: Anytime! ^___~

Teá: *Comes out of trance* Where am I? 

Barney: Where were we?

Kids: We need to get flowers for Timmy!

Joey: C'mon. I can't take this anymore.

Kaiba: I'll drive.

Duke Devlin: *Grabs Teá, drags her off stage*

Teá: BARNEY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Duke Devlin: It's for your own good.

Teá: But he likes friendship!

Tristan: Nice singing, Devlin. I'm sure Serenity will just LOVE it…

Duke Devlin: NOOOOOOO! *Begins chasing Tristan*

Tristan: =P NAH!

Duke Devlin: YOU WILL HOLD STILL, SO I CAN KILL YOU!

Tristan: Right, Dice-Boy.

Teá: *Is being restrained by Bakura* LEMME GOOOOOO!

Bakura: No. Ow! That was my nose!

Yami Bakura: Nice.

Bakura: A little HELP would be nice…

Yami Bakura: I'm sure it would.

Bakura: I WAS HINTING, YOU BLOODY TOMB ROBBER!

Yami Bakura: I know.

Bakura: 0__o THEN WHY AREN'T YOU HELPING ME?!

Teá: HIYAH! 

Bakura: Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Ow………

Yami Bakura: HaHa! A girl beat you up! Oh wait…. we share a body don't we… dang. OWWWWW!

Bakura: HA! Loser!

Yami Bakura: WHAT WAS THAT?! *Begins chasing Bakura*

Yami: Guys? Guys? Can we go?

Yami Bakura: DIE PHARAOH!

Yami: AHH!

Kaiba: T____T It's the end of the world….

Mai: Again. -____-


	7. Close Encounter With Mrs Vrendinilla

Calcifer: Okay, thanks to all you reviewers! Rebbie you get to be in here, you lucky pig, however you have never read it… how does that work?! Okay we have a long one for y'all today!

************************************************************************

Calcifer: Well… let the torture continue…

Marik: What are you doing to us this time?

Calcifer: Actually it isn't so bad. You will all be teaching at a school.

Tristan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Calcifer: Did I mention that 90% of the student body is female?

Tristan: *Wipes off drool* Okay. I'm IN!

Joey: Me too!

Duke Devlin: Me three!

Serenity: Why are you drooling, Tristan?

Tristan: Oh! Hi, Serenity…

Serenity: _ Why were you drooling?!

Tristan: No reason.

Mai: Well, let's get this over with.

*At the school*

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Hello, young substitutes!

Joey: Yo.

Tristan: Where are the students?

Mai: What are you WEARING?!

Duke Devlin: Do you have a dice class?

Serenity: Hello! ^__^

Marik: *Silence*

Kaiba: This is such a waste of my time…

Bakura: Hello, Ma'm!

Yami Bakura: Can I send you to the Shadow Realm?

Teá: Friendship is good!

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: The students haven't arrived yet. I am wearing a Terrance Del Bano original. No we don't have a 'dice class', whatever that is. And no you can't send me to "the Shadow Realm". Hehe you kids and your bands…

Joey: Why did you have a need for so many subs?

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Well many of our teachers are on vacation, sick, or on a faculty retreat. Therefore we have no teachers.

Tristan: Okay…

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Here are your assignments. *AHEM* Mr. Wheeler? 

Joey: Yeah?

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: You shall be teaching English…

Joey: But, but, but, BUT!

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: No buts, you can thank me later! ^__^ Miss Valentine?

Mai: Yeah?

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Science. 

Mai: Okay…

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Mr. Bakura?

Bakura: Yes? Do you mean me or my Yami?

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Yami? Er… yes. Um… right. You shall teach our history class. Mr. Muto?

Yugi: Yes?

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: You get to teach gym class.

Yugi: Uh, what are they learning?

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Basketball! ^___^

Yugi: Oh… great…

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Miss Gardener?

Teá: Yes? 

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: You get to be our stand-in psychologist! You shall solve friendship issues, and give advice to our lovely students.

Teá: *Faints with happiness… to be PAID to give friendship speeches…*

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Mr. Devlin? Mr. Taylor?

Duke Devlin: Yes?

Tristan: Yeah?

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: You two get to teach auto body shop!

Tristan: Just how many girls are in this course?

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Um…. Three.

Duke Devlin: Great. Just Great.

Tristan: *Sigh* Okay.

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: LOVELY! ^________^ Mr. Ishtar?

Marik: *Silence* 

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: You get to teach Math!

Marik: *SILENCE*

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Mr. Kaiba?

Kaiba: What?! __

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: You get to teach the computer skills course.

Kaiba: YES! BWAHAHAHAH!

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress And last, but not least… Miss Wheeler?

Serenity: Hello! ^___^

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: You shall teach our home economics course.

Serenity: Oh… okay then…

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Lovely. Here are your schedules! Run off and teach now!

*At English Class*

Joey: Okay… um hi, class.

Class of 18 girls and 2 boys: Hello, Mr. Wheeler.

Joey: Uh. Don't call me that! Call me Joey.

Class: Okay, Mr. Joey.

Joey: *Rolls eyes* That'll work… Okay what book are we reading today?

Mary-Sue: We are reading _A Midsummer's Night Dream_ by William Shakespeare.

Joey: Okay… what? I mean, oh that. All right, let's take a look at the first page….

*In Math Class*

Marik: *Silence*

Class: *Skeptical looks*

Marik: Okay. I am here to teach you about mathematics. 

Girl named Rebbie: *Swoon*

Marik: Okay… I didn't know math was that powerful…

Rebbie: *Drools* Marik…

Marik: ??? Okay. This is how you balance an equation. Take 31= 3x + 5x + 7

Class: Okay…

Rebbie: *Bats eyelashes* 

Marik: And then you… and then…….you… yeah. OKAY! You need to murder seven from each side, so take your millenium items and stab the seven…

Class: 0___o

Rebbie: *Takes imitation Millenium Rod, and stabs it into her paper* How was that?

Marik: *Looks at mutilated page* Pretty good. For a beginner… 

Rebbie: I'M NOT A BEGINNER! *Sob sob*

Marik: Okay, then… So now we have: 24= 3x + 5x, so you have to combine like terms… so um take the 5x and add it to the 3x and you get…… *Counts on fingers* 8x! 8x = 24! Then you chop each side into eight pieces to get…. X= 24! Tada!

Class: *Blink*

Rebbie: *Applauds* BRAVO!

Marik: Thanks…

*In History Class*

Bakura: And so in 800 B.C.E Homer wrote the Odyssey. The Greek civilization was very advanced, and they…

Yami Bakura: *In his soul room* This is so boring! Who cares about the Greeks?! *Takes over Bakura* All right, class. Enough about the Greeks; it is time to learn about EGYPTIAN history!

Class: Okay…

Yami Bakura: All right, the highest rank in Egypt was the tomb robber.

Smart-aleck girl: I thought that it was the Pharaoh.

Yami Bakura: Well it wasn't.

Yami: *Bursts in* It was TOO the Pharaoh!

Yami Bakura: Tcha. I am the one with my memory intact. I think I would know about it better than you!

Yami: *Glare* Listen up, kids. This man… well, no. Not really a man… this _spirit_- there we go- is a total liar. Don't believe a word he says! He-

Yugi: *Drags Yami off*

Yami: You haven't seen the last of meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Yami Bakura: Right then. Now that the hyperactive pharaoh from the Underworld is gone…

Bakura: That isn't nice!

Yami Bakura: BACK TO YOUR SOUL ROOM!

Bakura: Meep! *Goes away*

Yami Bakura: We shall learn the correct way to steal gold from a tomb…

*At home-ec*

Serenity: Hello, class! ^__^ Let's make muffins!

Class: Okay!

Serenity: And here about my amazing brother Joey Wheeler!

Class: Um…

Serenity: Okay, let's put our batter into the pans, and put them in the oven… since there are so many of you it will take a long time, sooooo…..

*Half an hour later*

Serenity: …And then he showed up at the hospital and told me that I would be okay, and that my operation would go well…

*Half an hour later*

Class: Z___Z

Serenity: And then Tristan took me to visit Joey, but he was possessed by your math teacher [Spoiler, SORRY!]

Class: *All asleep on desks, drool dripping onto their homework*

*Back at math class*

Marik: Okay, all finished! That is how you balance any equation. See you all in my nightmares. *Leaves class*

Rebbie: *Jumps up and follows him*

Marik: Can I help you?

Rebbie: Yeah… 

Marik: Okay. With what?

Rebbie: *Begins drooling again*

Marik: Alrighty then. *Keeps walking*

Rebbie: *Follows a few feet behind*

Marik: Look, kid…

Rebbie: Rebbie.

Marik: Okay, _Rebbie_, listen up. 

Rebbie: *Staring at him*

Marik: You have to… *Loses train of thought because she isn't blinking*

Rebbie: @___@ Marik…

Marik: Please get away from me. NOW!

Rebbie: @___@ Marik…

Marik: *Begins walking away very fast, taking many winding turns, yet Rebbie stays on his heals*

Rebbie: MARIK! LET'S GO TRAMPLE DAISYS TOGETHER!

Marik: *Begins running*

Rebbie: *Runs too*

Marik: *Runs into Tristan and Duke Devlin*

Tristan: Watch where you're going, Ishtar!

Marik: She's following me!

Duke Devlin: She's kinda cute, in a strange sort of way…

Rebbie: Marik….

Marik: I hate to say this but… can you…

Tristan: Yes?

Marik: Well…

Duke Devlin: What…?

Marik: Help? Me?

Tristan: What was that?

Duke Devlin: So sorry. We can't hear you?

Rebbie: *Becomes rabid* MARIK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Marik: Help? Me?

Tristan: Still can't hear you…

Marik: HELP ME! OKAY?! YES! ME! THE PSYCHOTIC, YET VERY SUAVE, MARIK ISHTAR IS ASKING FOR HELP! DEAL WITH IT!

Tristan: You just had to say 'please'.

Marik: *GLARE*

Duke Devlin: Don't you have a class to go to, kid?

Rebbie: AACK! It's time for science!

Marik: Phew.

Rebbie: Come on, Marik-Warik.

Marik: WHAT?! NO!

Rebbie: *Drags him off…*


	8. School Story

Thanks to all my lovely reviewers! YAY! You are the best! Chibiki you get to be in here, sorry if I make you seem kinda weird! Sorry about the lack of updates! I have been really busy with my two new fics. BAD ME! *Hits herself in the face* OW! 

REBD: RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Joey: Translation: Calcifer doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Snape, or Midsummer Night's Dream.

Calcifer: Joey! I didn't know you spoke Red-eyes Black Dragon!

Joey: It's a hidden talent. ^__~

*****************************************************************

*At the auto body class room*

Tristan: Okay, let's get to work!

Duke Devlin: *Whispers* Do you know anything about cars?

Tristan: Nope. I can't even drive one. I stick to motorbikes.

Duke Devlin: 0__o What are we going to do!?

Tristan: *Shouted whisper* You mean you don't know anything either?!

Duke Devlin: Nope. 

Tristan: Oh… dear…

Duke Devlin: We're dead…

*****************************************************************

*In the science class room*

Rebbie: Whee! I have Marik-Warik! My Marik-Warik!

Marik-Warik… er… I mean Marik: _ I am not happy.

Mai: Hi, girls and boys, and… MARIK?!

Marik: Yo.

Rebbie: OOH! Mai! You're cool! Nice outfit!

Mai: Oh! You really think so? I mean, let's get to work. Today we are going to… *checks lesson plan left by real teacher* Have a frog dissection?!?! WHAT!? NO! I REFUSE! 

Marik: Dissection? Really? FUN! KILL THE LITTLE B*******!

Chibiki: *Whacks him with giant mallet* %*&^$*^&%%%%**%%$$^%$$!! [Those are cuss words]

Rebbie: I agree! You must be nice to the frogs Marik-Warik!

Marik: __ This is boring.

Mai: *Looks at dead frogs* I-I-I'm gonna puke! *Runs out door*

Chibiki: Now what the hell do we do?

Rebbie: DAMN! We don't have a teacher!

*****************************************************************

*At the English class room*

Joey: Okay. So we are supposed to translate a portion of this play to modern day English. Right then. Let's get started.

*Reads out loud from book*

"QUINCE:  
Pat, pat; and here's a marvelous convenient place for our  
rehearsal. This green plot shall be our stage, this hawthorn  
brake our tiring-house; and we will do it in action, as we will  
do it before the duke."

WHAT THE HELL?!

Class: *GASP*

Joey: Erm… What the heck? Well. Let's get started shall we. Um…

Mary-Sue: What's a green plot?

Joey: Ah… well… let's look it up…

Lucy: It's not in the dictionary!

*Mai runs in*

Joey: MAI! Do you know what a green plot is?

Mai: No idea. But that's beside the point. Joey you need to go teach my science class.

Joey: What about this class?

Mai: Whatever. I'll teach them! Just go!

Joey: SCORE! Thanks, Mai! *Runs out*

Mai: Okay. Back to the green plot…

*****************************************************************

*At the computer science class*

Kaiba: Sit down. -__-

Class: *Sits* 

PatrickMcKinney(A GIRL!): Seto-sama! ^___________^

Kaiba: 0.0 Who the hell are you?

PM: Seto……………^__^

Kaiba: Okay. We are supposed to be learning how to make a PowerPoint presentation, but I am going to teach you some skills that will be more useful to you. So useful in fact that you'll never need to do a PowerPoint presentation because you can hack into the teacher's grade book and give yourself an 'A'.

Annoying Boy Named Jacob: THAT'S UNETHICAL!

Everyone Else: SHUT UP!

Kaiba: Yes! Today you will all learn the amazing art of hacking! 

Class: OOOOO!

Kaiba: I can teach you to scupper companies, change grades, even launch nuclear missiles- If you aren't as big a group of bakas as I usually have to work with.

Class: That sounds kind of familiar…

Shelly The Snape Fanatic: HOW DARE YOU COPY SNAPE!

Kaiba: I didn't copy Snape! He copied me!

Shelly: Yeah right, COPYCAT!

PM: DON'T INSULT MY SETO!

Shelly and PM: *Begin killing one another*

***************************************************************

*Back at the science class room*

Marik: So without a teacher we can cut class right?

Rebbie: That sounds appealing…

Joey: *Comes in* Sorry! But you have a teacher!

Chibiki: **^&%&%&%%%%%%*&&&%%$$#@$#$$$!!!!!!!!!!!

 Joey: Okay! Today we are going to have a…. *glances at lesson plan* 'Frog Dissection'? Wait… I used to know what a dissection was. Oh if I could only remember! *Goes over to dictionary* "Dissection: noun. Cutting so as to separate into pieces." Okay… wait… WE'RE GOING TO BE DOING THAT TO FROGS?! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! *Runs out of class*

Marik: Okay! I'll be your teacher now!

Rebbie: YAY!

Everyone else: *Groan*

Marik: *Begins carving up frog with Millennium Rod* Ooo! This is so fun!

Class: Ewwwwwwww! *Runs out of class*

Marik: *Sits with feet on desk* That was easy! Now I have free time! Woohoo!

  
Rebbie: *Comes back in* Oh no you don't, Marik-Warik!

Marik: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 0.0

*****************************************************************

*At the basketball court*

Yugi: Okay! I'm going to teach you all how to do a lay-up!

Class: *Looks nonplussed*

Yugi: You do this, see? *Runs at basket and falls over because of the weight of the basketball*

Yami: Nice one, Yugi. Let me show you how it's done!

Yugi: Well you can try…

Yami: I played basketball for the Egypt Olympic team!

Yugi: Basketball wasn't invented back then, Yami!

Yami: Well, what we played was close enough! *Runs up to shoot the ball, but bangs into the pole that holds up the hoop*

Yami Bakura: *Watching from the sidelines* Bravo, Pharaoh! Nice one!

Yami: SHUT UP!

Yami Bakura: I'll show you how it's done! *Picks up basketball*  *Dribbles over to the three point line, and makes a perfect shot into the hoop*

Yami: 0__o What? NOOOOO!

Yami Bakura: Hehehe…

Yami: HOW!? HOW!? HOW!?

Yami Bakura: I've watched the basketball finals for the past hundred years! Ha!

Yugi: That's cool, Yami Bakura! ^_^

Yami Bakura: I know. 

Yami: *Writhing with jealousy* But! BUT! BUT!!!!!!

Yugi: Can you teach this class, Yami Bakura?

Yami Bakura: Of course I can. Heh. A mere P.E. class is nothing to me!

Yami: *Whacks him with a basketball*

Yami Bakura: X__X

Yami: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Yugi: Er… class dismissed?

************************************************************

*At the school psychiatrist's office*

Teá: T__T I've been so left out! No one has come to talk to me about friendship!

Girl: *Comes in* Um… I was sent by the principal to talk to you.

Teá: YAY! Well you see, friendship is so very important to the world! Without friendship it would just stop turning!

Girl: Really? *Sits down* That's very interesting.

Teá: I know! You see I first began thinking about friendship when I was 2 years old! You see…

*Three hours later*

Girl: *Half asleep* Oh yes… that's very interesting. 

Teá: And that's everything you need to know about friendship! Why were you sent here anyway?

Girl: *Half out the door* I was graffitiing the bathroom, and they wanted you to call my parents with the name of a good shrink. But I liked our little chat better! Toodles!

Teá: 0.0 But-but-but!

*****************************************************************

*Right after the Home Ec. class ended*

Serenity: I'm bored.

Duke Devlin: *Comes running up* S-serenity! Have you seen Joey?

Serenity: Nope! He might be in the lunchroom. Why?

Duke Devlin: Tristan and I don't know anything about cars! We know Joey does! Can you help me find him?

Serenity: You don't need Joey! I know absolutely everything about cars!

Duke Devlin: You DO?!

Serenity: Of course, silly! ^.^ Let's go!

*************************************************************

*At the auto body shop*

Tristan: And this is internal combustion engine…

Serenity: Actually that's the steering wheel.

Tristan: AH! Serenity!? What are you doing here!?

Serenity: I'm going to teach! ^_^

Duke Devlin: She says she knows a lot about cars!

Tristan: Really? Oh that's great! *Sits back to watch Serenity* 

Duke Devlin: *Joins him*

*1 hour later*

*End of school bell rings*

Serenity: Well. That's class everybody! Have a nice weekend! Byebye!

************************************************************

Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Thank you for your hard work today! Here are your paychecks! *Hands everyone a check*

Joey: FIVE MEASLY DOLLARS! 

Kaiba: WHAT?! FOR WHAT I HAD TO GO THROUGH I SHOULD GET 3000!

Marik: *NO COMMENT*

Yami Bakura: __

Calcifer: Time to go home everybody! You need to get your rest for the next horrendous task! 

Marik: Oh joy.

All: *Head to car*

Rebbie: *Runs out* MARIK-WARIK! WAIT FOR ME!

Marik: STEP ON IT!

*Drive away at light speed*

Rebbie: T___T MY MARIK-WARIK! 

****************************************************************

Calcifer: And that's a rap! Wait 'til you see the next evil happening! Hehehehe. I'll give you a hint: Millennium Items. And you'll get to meet Yami Joey! MWAHAHA!


End file.
